Hi friends,
Well, now, I'm starting to fall off my good practice. Post-spring break things have been picking up at work, stress is increasing and life is offering many opportunities to get overwhelmed, overtaxed, over-whatever. I have a stomachache.
And I also have just 15 minutes to write, so I'll keep it small.
On Friday, the conference I attended was for women in business and was hosted by a group called C200 made up of extremely wealthy and influential businesswomen. At the closing session, one of them offered early on that she was very concerned about the future of women in business because there was such an unresolved issue of balancing having a family with having a career. Not a new issue for sure, but yes, certainly still unresolved.
It was a beautiful opportunity for me in many ways. During the Q and A time (I was sitting in the front row and my boss was moderating the panel), I stood up and told them that I was very glad they'd raised the issue and I was in agreement with them that it needed to be better addressed. (I didn't explain my position as an academic advisor to MBA students, mainly because I didn't want to talk too long before getting to the point. I do that a lot and I wanted to practice being more direct.) I pointed out that nearly every other country in the world had addressed this quite effectively by having standardized, nationalized, paid parental leave in varying lengths. Had they talked about this as a solution in the US and had they or would they consider taking a stand as an organization in support of national leave?
Well. As an organizer, we used to evaluate the effectiveness of an action by the reaction it solicited. And I sure got a reaction.
To be fair, I didn't actually think they would say yes. But I thought there might be some debate or nuanced consideration. Not so at all. No! No! No! No! And Absolutely Not! The details behind their vehement no's were varied, but essentially all fell into the category of, "I don't want ANYONE telling me how to run my business, least of all the government!" This was punctuated by pacing, finger pointing, raised voices, and well, a little bit of emotion, I'd say.
I had lots of thoughts about this, but I'll share just one at the moment.
The most vehement woman was in her 60s and a very high level person who'd been at ExxonMobil for many years. She offered that having a child and having a career (and everything else in life) was completely about personal choice. She offered that she had gone into her boss when she was pregnant and said, "If you can afford to give my colleagues two weeks off for vacation, you can afford to give me two weeks off to have my baby." Her boss accepted her reasonable argument and gave her two weeks off to have her baby.
Later on at the reception, this woman approached me (another point for Briana on the reaction tally) to say she appreciated my opinions even though we disagreed. She said she was from Texas and Texans are very individualistic and independent. I told her I was from Texas too, and gave her a big ol Texas gal grin. I also offered that I was sure it had been difficult to go back to work two weeks after giving birth. She cut me off in order to correct me -- no, it wasn't hard at all. Not one bit.
Talk about reactions. Hm. I had one. It was very internal, but maybe she saw it on my face or in my body -- I'm not sure. It's not like I haven't heard people (e.g. Sarah Palin etc.) make such claims before. But I felt so immediately sad, just deeply, deeply sad. For her child? For us who are supposed to look to this woman as a leader? For society? Yes, all those, but for her too. Trust me, this lady didn't want me to feel sorry for her -- just the opposite, obviously. But I did. I felt so very sorry for her -- that the pain of that early, early separation from her child, of whatever pain had been there to make her feel that these were the personal choices available to her was so deeply buried as to be completely denied -- that's what made me so sad.
It's a big topic, this one, but like lots of social and political things, it's not really rocket science. It's just that people who weild a lot of power in business believe it is their RIGHT to make decisions about everything and everyone in society. I'm glad I took the opportunity to at least fight with my tongue and my mind.
Peace,
Briana
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