Amma, what happened?

Hi, friends,

I notice that as Lent progresses and work gets crazier, I miss more and more days of writing.  I'm inviting myself back to the practice and the peace of discipline.

Mallika's verbal abilities are expanding like crazy these days.  It's one of the coolest things ever to get to observe.  One of the things I notice is that she can repeat absolutely 100% the same thing over and over again and it is SO CLEAR.  It's just sometimes unintelligible to my adult ears.  It helps to try to repeat it back to her, as sometimes trying to make the sounds she's making helps to figure it out.  When I'm wrong, the girl has the patience of a saint.  "No" and then she tries again.  She occassionally gets frustrated, but never impatient.  Amazing.

One of her more recent and more common questions is, "Amma, what happened?"  Or, "Papa, what happened?"  What is really striking is the variety of things that prompt this question.  Sometimes it's a verbal exclamation from one of us. (And no, never including four letter words, not us!  More like eight or twelve or sixteen letter words that you get when you put a whole string of four letter words together.  Don't worry -- my mom never fails to mention that we're going to need to clean up our language any day now.)  Sometimes it's something she sees or more often something she hears, loud or quiet, near or far, for which she wants an explanation. 

But leave it to the little tyke to ask most often when she notices a reaction from one of us, no matter how small or subtle or private.  A sigh, a catching of the breath, a quiet groan, a sucking of teeth, you name it.  All those under-the-breath things we adults do and almost stop noticing that we do them.  For every one, Mallika asks, "Amma, what happened?"  It's a bell like no other.  It stops my thinking, brings me back to myself, and requires attention and honesty to be able to answer her.  And also makes me think way more profoundly than I usually do.  What DID just happen?

Suffice to say, my little girl is an angel.  I wonder, what happened to bring her into my life?

Peace,
Briana